Our Babies

I just read Kay Warren’s post on Face Book.  She speaks of the grief she is still experiencing for the loss of her child.  She also tells what and what not to say to a parent who has lost a child.  I cannot even fathom what she and my other friends have gone through after the loss of a child.  I know that I pray for a little bit of peace to flow through them at least a little each day.

She reminded me today that we cannot push depression under the rug.  We have to keep it in the forefront.  We must push the schools to talk about it to the teachers and the children.  The signs and symptoms of depression need to be explained often, not just suicide signs and symptoms.

Depressed people do withdraw.  They also can become more irritable and have angry outbursts.  They may gain weight or lose weight.  Their eating habits will change remarkably.  Their grades will probably drop but not always.  They can hide it well though.  They can smile and fake it like the best of them.  If your gut tells you something is wrong, listen to it.  That mother’s tuition is usually spot on.

Let’s put life back into perspective.  Enjoy your child’s rec league game, win or lose.  Laugh with the parent’s in the bleachers.  Let the kids make mistakes and learn from them.  These kids will be playing on the same team not long from now.  Encourage the kids to have fun in the dugouts.  If you are on my son’s team, odds are you have a cool new hand shake or you have learned the “Booty” song (thank you Rob Lukens).  Let the school coaches put the stress on them.  

As a parent who battles depression, some days are so hard to put life in perspective.  You see nothing but darkness.  You try to make it through the day until you can fall in bed at a decent hour.  You have to “fake it ’til you make it” in front of your kids.  You have the right to tell your child you are not having a very good day and you need to lay down for a minute to regroup.  Maybe you can sit outside for a few minutes and get some fresh air and vitamin D.  A walk around the block can be enough to get some endorphins going to recharge.  Easier said than done right?  I am preaching to the choir because I have had one of those days.

Depressed people tend to ruminate over one negative event.  I have been doing that all day.  Someone commented on my child’s batting last night.  The mama bear came out in me.  I had to walk away.  All day long I have been coming up with what I would have said.  I am glad I walked away.  Then I read Ann’s post and I decided some things were more important but the mama bear will always come out when you say something I don’t like about my children:)

2 thoughts on “Our Babies

  1. Oh Sweet Friend I am queen of “you gotta fake it to make it!” It was the saying of a girlfriend who battled depression and trust me I know the true meaning of this phrase!
    As I read your post I see why we bonded do quickly last year at Gilchrist and why I opened up so easily to you! I enjoyed our day with you, myself, and Melissa sitting on the bleachers! We have so many more of those days ahead soaking up the vitamin D laughing and enjoying watching your boys on the Diamond as our girls sit together laughing too!


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