I work at a Landscape Supply/ Nursery. Many of you know that. Spring Time is our “Christmas”. Sod orders explode, 18 wheeler plant loads come in every day. “Chaos” is a mild word to describe our day. Stress is compounded due to the overload of customers, the lack of enough employees, and usually the weather. It is either too hot, too cold and/ or very windy or very rainy!!
For those without a major mental disorder, the stress is bad enough. For those of us with major, diagnosed, mental/ mood disorder, the stress can really takes it’s toll. It cannot only effect that person, the others around her will be effected as well; usually not in a good way.
Looking back on this topic, I am reminded of plants, shrubs, and trees. Each one depends on a delicate balance of chemicals and elements to thrive. When things get out of whack, their welfare is not only effected. Their neighbors, other plants and trees, can be effected. Their base, the soil, which is finely balanced, will change. However, with the right combination of fertilizers and a lot of TLC they can grow back stronger and more beautiful than ever.
People diagnosed with major mood disorders, have a very big uphill battle. The science of the validity of mental health issues has been proven exhaustively. A true chemical imbalance exists. This imbalance, if not, treated can cause all sorts of personal and public issues. Amazingly, science has created and found many medicines (chemicals), to help balance their brain. Science has tremendously improved the lives of so many people.
Now, keep in mind, talk therapy helps. It helps a great deal with handling the outrageous thoughts and feelings which go through your brain. You wouldn’t believe the paranoia and delusions that can occur. When you work through them and learn techniques to combat these thoughts, you can usually get through that situation without too much damage, at least to others. However, the chemicals in the brain can go haywire during stress. You try telling yourself it is a phase, you will get through this. But, something triggers it. You are at a breaking point already. Then BOOM!!!!
You want to crawl in a hole. You want to rewind the clock. How could this happen?! Things have been going really well. You have kept yourself in check. But, the cracks begin. They begin to creep and spread. You should have called your doctor 2 weeks ago. You knew you didn’t feel well. You wanted to just stop. But, you didn’t want to face the fact that you were having a relapse. You did not want to admit that you have disease, that you need “tune up”.
With mood disorders and other mental health issues, the debate goes on every day. Is it really a disease or just a personal defect? Could it be the way you were raised? Has Satan taken over your thoughts and feelings and only Jesus can erase them? Big debate over the last reason. God did not give me this disease, but he has supplied me with the tools to fight this, even if I relapse. God doesn’t want me to suffer, nor any other person with cancer, or any other disease. I do have to keep reminding myself. I believe I am to use this platform to share my story.
No one is alone in their suffering, of anything. But man, when your brain circuits go haywire, you certainly feel alone. People cannot see any physical signs like a cast or bald head. They see this “crazy person” losing her s&*t. It is possible to lose family and friends. It sucks but it happens.
Mental Health issues, including mood disorders (Bipoloar) are legitimate diseases. They require a diagnosis from a physician, and probably handling medicines for most of your life. A lot of treatments, traditional and non traditional, exist. Most people will have relapses and will need a tune-up. Hopefully, you will get there in time. But, you may not. Hopefully you have a loving and strong support system. It can certainly take a major toll on the ones you hold near and dear to your heart.
I share this because yes, this has happened to me. I want people to know, if you battle this, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! Also, for those of you who have a loved one who is sick, or even a friend, be patient. Believe me, we don’t want to feel this way either. A lot of times, we just hate our brains.
If you are battling such issues, please ask for help. We can only get rid of the stigma if we are honest with ourselves and others. Take care of yourself. You matter, you are loved. Your friends and loved ones really want to know and help.